The Intrepid Houseplant of Lothlorien
by pyroporcupine
Summary: Galadriel finds a houseplant that likes to grab people in Lothlorien one day. It escapes, and has an adventure where it meets humans, elves, hobbits and other creatures!


**A/N: My other fanfic was starting to get too serious, so here is the result of my need to write something zany. Yes, I know how very stupid it is. **Write a review, I'll give you a nice sugar-cookie.****

Once upon a time, there was a crazy, ol' elf queen named Galadriel. She lived in a forest called Lorien and had her own nice little colony of elves. She was old, so very unbelievably old, even older than your mummified math teacher. Because she was so old, she was also so very unbelievably wise. What a nice combination, old and wise. 

The elves in Galadriel's colony had a grand time living in their cozy tree houses up in the trees? Why were they living in tea houses you might ask. Tree houses fools! Tree houses! Well mere mortal, Galadriel was wise so she obviously knew what she was doing with all those tree houses. Or flets as she and the other elves liked to call them. In any case, she was married to an elf named Celeborn who was also very unbelievably old. Though maybe he wasn't as insane as Galadriel. Or maybe he was, after all, he did marry her.

By now, dear reader, you many be wondering exactly why Galadriel was crazy. It's because……………. oh never mind, let's not get into that. I will point out however that she had an odd talent for changing colours. She got it from her mother's side, you know, they were all shape-shifting chameleons. A little bird named Petey Pirate told me this. Anyways, as I was saying, Galadriel could change colours. Once in a while, she was known to turn blue. But you didn't want to be around her then, because she got all scary and loud. Yes indeed, she was even louder and scarier than your little brother. Most of the time she was white, really unbelievably white and had an amazing glow about her. This was from the thousands of tiny light bulbs she stitched into her clothes. It took quite a long time for her to do this, but elves are immortal and so she had time to do these kinds of quirky things. White and blue, she could turn into! 

One day Galadriel was walking along on the ground of the forest, just for a nice change of pace. As fun as the tree houses were, they never really felt quite like being on the ground. Yes indeed. She walked along, minding her own little business when suddenly a houseplant dropped from the sky right in front of her.

_How rude of this houseplant to fall in front of me without properly introducing itself_, she thought. Suddenly, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins fell out of the sky on to the ground right beside the houseplant. Lobelia dusted off her hobbit clothes and looked up, at Galadriel who was quite taken aback at this rude entrance. Lobelia took a little kazoo out of her pocket and started playing it in hopes of scaring Galadriel away. Lobelia was feeling quite intimidated by Galadriel who was much taller than her hobbit self. Of course, Galadriel, being as wise as she was took no heed of Lobelia's kazoo playing. Lobelia was now trying desperately to scare Galadriel away that she huffed and puffed into the kazoo. Lobelia's little hobbit lungs could no longer keep up with the huffing and puffing that she passed out.

Galadriel wasn't paying any attention to Lobelia though, for the houseplant had caught her eye. It was a marvellous yellow colour and from the centre of the houseplant an arm-like appendage stuck out, holding on to Galadriel's eyebrow firmly. Well, Galadriel was wise, but she had never been captured by a rude houseplant before, and didn't know what to do. She sneezed on the plant and it instantly let go of her, its arm-like appendage shrinking into the centre. 

Galadriel was quite intrigued by this rare display of rudeness that she took the houseplant back to show the others. Every time the arm threatened to shoot out, she sneezed on it, causing it to shrink back again. Laughing insanely as she ran back, Galadriel coughed on the houseplant, which immediately stopped laughing. That's right, the houseplant stopped laughing insanely. You didn't think it was Galadriel laughing insanely did you, because that's just silly.

When she got back, she proudly showed all the other elves what she had found. They cautiously petted the pretty yellow leaves and admired the way the plant seemed to shine. There were a few close calls when the plant had almost grabbed somebody, but Galadriel always sneezed before it could do anything. Some of the elves thought the houseplant was dangerous and should be burned, but most of them found it to be amusing. 

Later that night, when all the elves had gone back to their flets, or tree houses as we like to call them, Galadriel brought the houseplant into her tree house. By now, the houseplant was somewhat more well behaved and didn't send the arm out as often. She placed the houseplant in a corner where it complemented the décor well. Celeborn (the husband, remember?) didn't think it was very safe to keep a houseplant like that in their tree house, though he didn't mention it to Galadriel. He knew she was fond of the houseplant, and didn't want her to get angry. Why you may ask? Because sometimes when she was angry, she turned blue. And we all know what happens then. Celeborn decided that a houseplant with an arm that liked to grab things was better than a loud, scary Galadriel. 

But little did they know, this houseplant had a mind of its own. Hidden somewhere in the plant there was a little mass of neurons that formed a very basic brain. And when the room was empty, the houseplant began to walk. Lo and behold, this thing had legs too! With its four knobbly, little legs, it walked right out of the tree house. But the brain of the houseplant was not very well-developed, and the houseplant walked right off the tree house and fell with a thud on to the ground below. But that little blunder didn't quench the houseplants thirst for adventure. Yes indeed, this thing had a sense of adventure as well! It scurried off into the night, leaving behind Lothlorien for the outside world.

**A/N: Coming soon! The houseplant goes to Rohan, Rivendell, the Shire, and just about everywhere else to visit your favourite characters! Stay tuned!**


End file.
